All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration
is to - act as if it were impossible to fail. Dorothea
Brande
All my life I've wondered what I wanted to be when I grew up. For a while I thought archaeologist, then interpreter, then graphic designer, then simply employed, then Ugly Betty. I was always amazed and envious of people who knew what they wanted to be and went out and achieved it.
For the past decade, I've kind of halfheartedly pursued a position with a VOR syndicate, to no avail. It never seemed like a real calling until the past year and a half. My last layoff put things in to stark perspective- I wasn't finding work doing what I had done, so I took the job I could get.
Instant. Frustration.
It really made me realize I was MORE than just a paycheck, that I DO have a passion, that it is important to me to find something I love to do.
So I've been chipping away, trying to find inroads into a field where I'm not sure where to start or who to start with. It's also frustrating, but in a good way. This frustration I feel I have some control over, that this is the frustration that will lead me somewhere, as opposed to the frustration I feel at my current job.
But that also leads me back to my opening quote- a variant on "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" Well heck- I'd move to Spain, France, Ireland, Brasil... somewhere there was a syndicate starting and get hired! Easy peasy, right?
Right. But I'm not in a vacuum here. I have people who depend on me, and they NEED me to not fail. It's all well and good to say "I won't fail!" and believe it with all my heart, but reality- people DO fail. I HAVE failed in the past. Sure- I don't set out to fail. But it happens. Being optimistic is good, being realistic is better.
When my son graduated from high school, I wrote a note to him and his friends. The first thing I told them: Follow your dreams, but remember that reality is where you live. To put it more bluntly- you have to eat. You need a roof over your head. You'll need money to pay your bills. Now, don't get me wrong- I'm all about following your dreams, living your life on your terms and all that, but if the current economic situation shows us anything, it's that living on credit will eventually come back to bite you right in the butt. Live within your means and you'll find that your means are more expansive and rewarding than you ever thought possible.
And that is why I don't buy "act as if it were impossible to fail." Because you have to be prepared. Anything less is irresponsible.
And that's frustrating.
All my life I've wondered what I wanted to be when I grew up. For a while I thought archaeologist, then interpreter, then graphic designer, then simply employed, then Ugly Betty. I was always amazed and envious of people who knew what they wanted to be and went out and achieved it.
For the past decade, I've kind of halfheartedly pursued a position with a VOR syndicate, to no avail. It never seemed like a real calling until the past year and a half. My last layoff put things in to stark perspective- I wasn't finding work doing what I had done, so I took the job I could get.
Instant. Frustration.
It really made me realize I was MORE than just a paycheck, that I DO have a passion, that it is important to me to find something I love to do.
So I've been chipping away, trying to find inroads into a field where I'm not sure where to start or who to start with. It's also frustrating, but in a good way. This frustration I feel I have some control over, that this is the frustration that will lead me somewhere, as opposed to the frustration I feel at my current job.
But that also leads me back to my opening quote- a variant on "What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" Well heck- I'd move to Spain, France, Ireland, Brasil... somewhere there was a syndicate starting and get hired! Easy peasy, right?
Right. But I'm not in a vacuum here. I have people who depend on me, and they NEED me to not fail. It's all well and good to say "I won't fail!" and believe it with all my heart, but reality- people DO fail. I HAVE failed in the past. Sure- I don't set out to fail. But it happens. Being optimistic is good, being realistic is better.
When my son graduated from high school, I wrote a note to him and his friends. The first thing I told them: Follow your dreams, but remember that reality is where you live. To put it more bluntly- you have to eat. You need a roof over your head. You'll need money to pay your bills. Now, don't get me wrong- I'm all about following your dreams, living your life on your terms and all that, but if the current economic situation shows us anything, it's that living on credit will eventually come back to bite you right in the butt. Live within your means and you'll find that your means are more expansive and rewarding than you ever thought possible.
And that is why I don't buy "act as if it were impossible to fail." Because you have to be prepared. Anything less is irresponsible.
And that's frustrating.
That was the part of the 10+1 that frustrated me. I left communities who touted Positivist ideology. My list of fails far outnumbered theirs and I think experience has a lot to do with how one navigates the shitstorm between what-outta-be and what-is. Simply deconstructing that shitstorm is where the personal inertia issue arises and I think that is the crux or kernel of the navigation on the whole. Fish or cut bait then works on that level, the personal inertia to forge a balance between the realistic responsibility and the dream, or "pull" towards what you need to do. But on the macro level, fish or cut bait, dream big, visualise it and it will come, the "Laws of Attraction" (privileged wealthy people b.s. IMHO),'act as it it were impossible to fail' kinda falls flat because do that and experience says you'll get spanked in a heartbeat (or 90 days, whichever creditors or utility companies caprice dictates).
ReplyDeleteYou seem to have plenty of life experience so you already know this but it bears repeating now and again.
ReplyDelete"Jobs" really are about who you know; "relationships." Dream jobs especially. I watched a woman get her dream job via a head hunter who is connected with her Ivy League alma mater (she went there on an athletic scholarship back in the day when schools had those). Networks of relationships landed her the interview. She knew in an instant it was her dream job, she'd arrived. That relaxed her and she shone; cha-ching.
Who do you know who might still be with VOR or have ties still to VOR?
Can you use that drudge job to finance brief trips to rekindle/build relationships at race stopovers or in pre-race production, whichever is less stressful for current VOR contacts so they'll be more open to receiving and hearing you?
Can you YouTube Channel or social network or blog specific to the VOR in a creative way that demonstrates, even from afar, 'you've got this,' that they need YOU this/next VOR——you over some intern fresh out of school (even though that intern's someone's niece; b/c 'nepotism' is just 'network' spelled differently). If there's a way, you'll find it. You wrote #s 4 & 6 to your son & friends, and that proves it.
Spanno- "plenty of life experience" Are you callin' me old?? ;)
ReplyDeleteAll of what you're suggesting is part of my "chipping away." But I'm impatient. I don't want to use the #00 and the tiny hammer, I want to use the chisel and the sledge. Now that I've finally figured it out, now that I have a goal, I want it NOW.
"Good things come to those who wait" "Patience is a virtue" Neither of those sayings holds much water with me. I want what I want and I want it NOW.
NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW.